Or is it drinked? I don’t know but lately I’ve been feeling semi-retarded and out of mental fuel. Is it possible that after years of abusing alcohol and sniffing lemon pledge that I have finally run out of good brain cells and I’m now running on the 2nd stringers? Pinch thinkers? Could be.
People bug me all of the time to post regularly and make them laugh, but the simple truth is that I have simply been unable to string enough clever words together to convey a thought worth reading as of late. I spend entirely too much time thinking about it and that takes away from what this site started out to be…a random rant dumping ground that clears out my cluttered mind and allows me to not commit a homicide or at least a very crude act such as public farting (which I continue to do regardless).
I think I need to just lighten up and stop thinking about things like retirement, the economy, the war in Iraq, civil rights, the homeless and whatever else is going on. Oh and how could I forget about global warming and being green? I am certainly concerned, but at what cost? It is killing my sense of humor and all the drinking has been killing my brain cells. Together I am one global issue and bottle of scotch from being a talking monkey! Wow…I really need to lighten up huh?
For all who sent email and left comments asking for more, I can tell you this…I will certainly try hard, but I can’t make any promises. After all folks, I’m just an average Slob with a writing habit and drinking talent. Or is it the other way around? I forget.
I suppose at some point the people around me who read my rants on this site and who get to know me personally eventually makes some assumptions as to what kinds of things I find interesting. While working away this morning, I get a news article Instant Messaged to me, not from one, two or even three co-workers…but four of them within minutes of each other.
The article is from the BBC Science section and details the sexual inappropriateness of a wayward and perverted seal. I guess this is just the type of thing that rings true to my personality and sense of humor…spot on guys!
Anyway, the story details the sexual assaults of a young seal who tries to procreate with anything and everything it can get it’s private parts onto or into! Gee, that sounds like a young me…hrm. Apparently there is a video of the seal trying to hump a penguin for a half hour or so (see pic). This to me sounds like a freakish thing…not the act itself but the fact some pervert stood around with a camera and filmed it. What was that conversation like? “Hey man check it out! That seal is porkin’ a penguin! GET MY CAMERA!” Truly some disturbed thinking going on there and I like it! If I had been there I would have shot some footage and had it on youtube by now!
The real question in my mind is what happens if the seal actually impregnates another species? Would the offspring of a seal and penguin be called a Peal? How about a Penseal? If they had two offspring would the second be called “Number Two Penseal”? I’m just sayin’!
You can read the whole article here…
I can finally say goodbye to the buggy pile of steamy poop that is Rainbow Six: Vegas 2 and welcome a real game to my Xbox 360 drive. It is just after midnight, I’m sicker then a dog and I have my copy of the newly released GTA IV! I’m stoked…however, I’m also so sick I’m not even going to open it tonight. Instead I’m going to take a bunch of steroids for my asthma and go to bed where I will hopefully get some well deserved rest.
For all of you who didn’t get a copy, I’m sorry. I don’t really mean to brag, but I have been waiting for a real title since I bought my 360 and it is finally here!
Everyone has been hate mailing me in spades to complain about my lack of posts and interest in what they consider to be a daily source of knowledge, amusement and sexual fantasy…well, I made that last part up. Anyway, Lou is one of the biggest complainers in the “Why don’t you post anymore” department, so naturally when I stumbled across a video for a Japanese product called “LooLoo” I couldn’t help but post it for him! This is for you Lou, enjoy!
